An Epic Tale of Glory
by g1rldraco7
Summary: This is just a silly story requested for me to do. It has to do with the current employees of the GamesRadar video game editors. It's just for fun so don't sue me and it's clean. Rated T for swearing, violence and random things.
1. Meeting The GR Crew

Once upon a time in a far away kingdom near the bay of Frisco.  
There among the scattered homes was a huge black stone castle.  
The Kingdom of Gameth Radar seemed like a happy place to live in.  
So it seemed for the rulers of the Kingdom were basically snitches.

The king of the land, Lord Hollander of Coop was very odd and demanding.  
The castle guards were always on the move and guard to keep birds away.  
Lord Coop didn't like birds so he made a law to keep all birds out of the kingdom.  
Sure chicken, squab and pheasant were served as food, but wild birds are gone.

His gold crown with different colored gems shined in the sun as he walked around.  
The castle was quiet as the maids and butlers scurried around to keep busy.  
His walk lead him to the castle gardens, the moat helped the beautiful flowers bloom.  
Rare, coloful flowers bloomed as the sun nourished them and the grass they came from.

His hazel eyes came upon his queen who was currently reading a black grimiore.  
To those outside the castle, his queen was name Lady Ashley Coop when outside.  
Inside the castle she was actually a male by the name of Lord Henry Gilbert the Third.  
Henry was a warlock with the ability to shape-shift his form to whatever form he wanted.

The previous guards and workers were removed in fear of them revealing the shocking truth.  
Well one person was spared, the Black Knight who was currently showing off to the ladies.  
He was rich, sexy, very limber and energetic and known to some as Sir Lorenzo Valoria.  
No one ever saw him without his armor, made of the strongest black and red metal.  
His sword was a thick blade made of black metal with a gold handle and engravings on it.

So far it was a beautiful day until the Black Knight was screaming in rage as eggs hit him hard.  
The King and Queen were brought out of their thoughts as a huge ball appeared in the sky.  
It hit them before they could blink as they were covered in a dark green and black goo.  
Lord Coop wiped his face to find the ball was a mixture of garbage, tar and cream.  
Soon more balls came, hitting the castle walls and splattering its vile contents everywhere.

The queen ran off to the royal chambers to wash the vile goo off before the smell lingered.  
The Black Knight and the King were trying to locate the source of the balls from the tower.  
Far from the castle was a catapult currently being loaded by three silly men or heroes.  
The first man was tall with a large nose, currently the town crier since he was the loudest.  
He had a ridiculous laugh as he carefully locked the catapult as it was being aimed.

This was Tomas Magrino, amet haedum or the boring kid in his native language.  
The second man was a short man with dark eyes, short black hair and a dark tan.  
He had a lecherous grin on his smooth face as he calculated the next spot to fire.  
This was Lucas Sullivanus the gravis or the guru since his predictions were never wrong.  
He was the strategist of the group and the brains of the operation most of the time.

The final man of this group was such a genius as he mixed the next batch of bombs.  
His brownish gold hair glimmered as his pale skin made it look like a halo.  
The bright eyes were focused on the foul concoction as he carefully filled the containers.  
Here we have Ryan Taljanic, bibisset or the drunk of the group for very obvious reasons.  
Aside from mixing chemicals, he was the best beer brewer in the town and he was loved.

He can make you any beer of any flavor, whether sweet or bitter he was a genius.  
This also led him to drink whatever he made and thus made him the town drunk.  
Even though he was drunk as a skunk, he was still functionally in his daily life.  
Right now he placed the now filled containers out of the sun to prevent explosions.

" Are you sure they don't know where we are? A small army could be nearby to get us."

Lucas sighed as he helped Tom load the catapult with the next batch of bombs.

" We would be dead if thy actually found us now shush before Tom draws more attention."

As Tom was about to cut the rope, a wave of swords came about 3 inches from their necks.  
It seems the King had found them and the Black Knight came before them with red eyes.  
His glossy armor was sticky with eggs as our silly heroes were finally caught in the act.  
Every-time they attack the castle or tried to get in, they always managed to get away.

" I finally caught you little rats, your heads will roll for the crimes you've committed against the Royal crown. Any last words before we take you to the guillotine?"

" Yeah this shit is about to get crazy, run away!"

The Black Knight turned as a large round shadow covered them and he turned to see.  
It was large flaming ball coming their way from the castle catapult and falling fast.  
Soon a large explosion sent the army and the Black Knight flying into different directions.  
Nothing was left of the catapult except some piles and chunks of wood burnt.

Our three heroes landed in a tree as the smell of the bombs covered the area like a wave.  
Tomas was dusting himself off as he tried not to pass out from the horrid stench.  
Lucas was trying to grab Ryan just to choke him for his bombs ruining their catapult.

" You willow smith looking mother freaker, why do you keep increasing the potency of these bombs?!"

" Hey it's not my fault they fought back, besides we got away without losing our heads and we're still in one piece."

Tomas helped them both down as they found some bags of gold left from the army.  
With the gold in hand, they landed near the town bar to drown their worries away.


	2. Gregory the Dragon Whisperer

**Gregory the Dragon Whisperer**

_'Bootybootybooty rocking everywhere, rocking everywhere,bootybootybooty rocking everywhere, rocking everywhere. you know this new booty'_

Ryan and Tomas shook their heads as the frisky Lucas was twerking his fine ass.  
Most of the gold they acquired was used to make the bards sing this weird song.  
Women and men were screaming like crazy as the short man danced so smooth.  
The tip bowl Lucas placed on the stage was overflowing with the gold coins.

" I told you NOT to give Lucas any of your "special" drinks, but NOOOOOOOO!"

" Hey you don't refuse, you gotta grip and sip that purple drink baby."

" Do you remember the last time he drank the green drink? We couldn't find him for five hours. He came home pretending to ride a horse with a wide grin on his face and there's a wanted poster of a horse rapist. That was the king's stables and all those horses had smiles on their long faces. We're lucky the King didn't find out and Lucas doesn't remember anything at all!"

Tomas took a long swig of his drink and felt the alcohol hit him as the song began to end.  
Ryan chuckled as he wrote down a formula on a piece of parchment as he emptied his mug.  
He was writing a list of the different reactions of his colored specialty drinks.  
So far the green, red and purple drink have been tested, next color was orange.  
Lucas came to the table with his bowl of tips and a large leather bag ready to be filled again.  
He placed each coin in the large bag one by one and he snickered as he emptied the bowl.

" Okay, you got your fun, now can we please drink in peace before we get chased out again?"

Lucas just stared at Tomas as he handed Ryan the bag before grabbing the bowl and leaving.

" That boy, every time we come here he always manages to get us into trouble."

" If Gregory was here, he would make sure we left before anything bad happened, but NOOOO he had to go on vacation."

" He needed to get away, being the White Knight is stressful and it's so sad his wife died during the last bandit raid."

We go to Lucas as he tries to flirt with a young lady as she tried to have a nice evenng.  
She has short black hair, a nice tan, slim figure and very wise for her age.  
Her fruit flavored drink was vanishing as she tried to ignore the short man.

" Have you heard of the Kama Sutra? I am an expert of the wonderous book of love and I can bring you into a new world of pleasure."

" YOU'LL SOON BE RESIDING IN A PINE COFFIN IF YOU DON'T LEAVE MY LADY ALONE!"

Lucas looked up only to pale as the red glowing eyes of the Black Knight glared at him.  
Everyone in the bar fled to the walls since his intimidating aura cleared every room.  
Turns out the woman that Lucas was trying to seduce was Lady Sofia Tong, fiance of Sir Lorenzo.

Tomas grabbed Ryan as he ran to grab Lucas and they were off like a dirty shirt.  
The Black Knight was about to chase them when Sophia grabbed his hand gently.  
His rage disappeared as he sat down and was served a drink with his fine lady.  
Now if Greg was here, this incident would have been avoided completely.

Right now Sir Gregory Henninger was currently investgatng a torn apart castle.  
Rumor was this was the Blood Dragon Castle, the biggest treasure load of all.  
He made his way with just his shield, sword and lantern through the rubble.  
There was also a blood dragon said to be guarding the treasure from anyone.

His white armor glowed as the moonlight lit up most of the stone floors.  
Skeletons and bits of armor was strewn about showing the danger here.  
As Gregory walked into a dark corridor, two green eyes were watching him.  
They glowed brightly as the man came to a heavily locked door and sat down.

He removed his helmet to breathe some air and his skin looked so soft.  
His eyes were beautiful as they focused on the lantern he was using.  
The pouch on his hip was opened to reveal some fancy lock pick.  
With the patience of a saint and gentle touch, the lock was picked easily.

The heavy door creaked open as the knight walked in only to something move.  
Those same green eyes were focusing on his form before he dropped the lantern.  
There stood a large blood red dragon with black markings and green eyes.  
Bright blue flames left the maw of the dragon and hit Gregory's shield.  
Soon he dropped his shield and ran only to hit it's thick red tail hard.  
The tail wrapped around him and brought him to face the creature.

" Oh my what large teeth you have!"

The dragon roared in anger as the grip began to tighten slightly.

" Oh what large sparkling teeth! I know you must hear this alot, but you must brush or something because those are beautiful and such a fresh mint breath."

The dragon thought about it before it cooed softly and it revealed to be a female dragon.

" You seek the treasure that I guard? I will take you to it and you may have it."

The dragon carried Gregory on her back as she flew to a tall tower.  
They landed at the top to find a room filled with different jewels and gold.  
Greg was speechless as his curious eyes roamed every inch and found a large bed.  
He was slowly pushed onto it as the dragon faced him with glowing eyes.

" This treasure shall be yours, but you must do something to break the curse placed on it. In order to claim the treasure of the Blood Dragon, you must tame the Blood Dragon guarding it."

The dragon began to glow as she changed her true form into something more juicy.  
There stood a woman with shoulder length red hair and bright green eyes.  
She wore a red bikini that barely held her large breasts and her skin pale as snow.  
Their hands intertwined as she sat down and looked into eyes and felt his sad pain.

" You lost your wife aome time ago? I know the pain is slowly covering your heart, but she wouldn't want you to be unhappy. I won't replace her, I just want to make you happy, will you let me?"

A sad smile came onto Greg's face, but it was covered by the softest lips he ever felt.  
Lust and passion over came them as they fell onto the bed and gave into temptation.


	3. Pictures

" Are you sure this is going to work?"

Lucas asked as Ryan was mixing up a potion as Tomas gathered ingredients.  
Wild honey suckles, raspberries, cat hair, some salt and a malty alcohol.  
All this was combined into a wooden flask as Ryan added the last ingredient.  
Cat nip was the last thing from the potion book he had aquired long ago.  
The potion gurgled and hissed as it became a deep neon yellow with foam.

The potion book used to belong to th current queen before that incident.  
They used to be friends, but when that Halloween ball happened, phew!  
Well let's just say the side effect of the red drink was the main cause.  
Ryan managed to take it with him as the occupants fled for their lives.

" Of course this book came from the castle and it has Henry's name. What's the worse that could happen?"

Tomas just finished cleaning his hands from grinding and chopping the ingredients.

" That's what you said when you made me drink that vile red bomb you called a specialty drink. I ran around covered in blue and silver paint calling myself Pepsiman and riding a jack hammer in all the rooms on the top floor. We were lucky no one was killed and my wife didn't find out!"

Lucas snickered since Mrs. Magrino had such a temper and yet she seemed so sweet.  
Lucas was handed the flask and the smell of the yellow liquid was like honey and milk.  
He looked to Ryan as a thumbs up was the only response so he sighed before chugging.  
Soon the flask was tossed to Ryan as Tomas was setting up a game on a small table.

" Ugh this may have smelled delicious, but tastes like fermented dead cat arse with lemon."

Beads of sweat began to form on Lucas's head as fell onto his rear from the potion.  
He groaned and flinched as black fur began to cover his body and he began to shrink.  
His clothes were piled up on the ground and it shook as a black cat came out.  
The frisky feline stretched and started to chase his own tail before he meowed.  
Tomas laughed as he gently scratched the cat's head and ears to recieve a loud purr.  
Ryan placed a blue collar with a gold bell on the cat's neck and it blinked.

" Alright remember the bell will take pictures only when you touch it with your paw. Now you need to get inside and take pictures of anything we can use for blackmail. If you manage to find some naked ladies, don't hesitate to get pictures. Remember this could wear off soon so be quick about it?"

The black cat saluted with one paw as made his way into the black castle with ease.  
Ryan packed up his things as he went to join Tomas in a game to pass the time.  
It was called League of Legends, and everytime they played, it was always full of tension.  
So the two gentlemen went to play their silly game as Lucas ventured the castle.

So far no one seemed to mind him strutting around until he came to the kitchen.  
The cooks were busy preparing lunch with mashed potatoes, roasted chicken and beans.  
Lucas licked his feline lips at the chucnks of roasted chicken on the counter tops.  
He made his sneaky way to the meat and gorged on the juicy, tender meat.

Once he was full, he went down the hallway and found one room door was open.  
He walked in to find it was filled with banned liquor and smoking products.  
With a few snapshots, Lucas made his way to find more photoworthy items.  
The sound of giggling hit his pointed ears as he followed the sound to a large room.  
It had a satin sheet for a door and some girls came out, wearing just towels.

Yellow cat eyes widened as his pink tongue licked hs lips as one thought came to mind.

_' OMG That ass!'_

He walked past the sheet to see a huge group of the hottest chicks he has ever seen.  
They were clad in a rainbow of colored bikinis and they were currently drinking wine.  
Some were bent over to grab the diferent plates of food placed in the room.

_' More of that asses.'_

He was going wild with pictures until one of the girls picked him up and rubbed him.  
He began to purr loudly as he was swarmed by the girls and being feed some food  
Meanwhile creative curse words were filling the air as Ryan and Tomas played.  
Ryan was haveing trouble getting past one part of their game and Tomas wasn't helping.

" You're suppose to jump over that."

" There's no way of jumping that I don't know how to explain this to you."

" You need to perform the jump action to advance."

" THERE'S NO WAY TO JUMP PAST THIS PART YOU SHITHEAD!"

" No wonder Cindy banned you from playing in your own house."

Anyway Lucas was loving all the attention he was getting from the sexy ladies.

" Hey won't Dave be jealous of this little guy?"

_'Dave? Who's Dave?'_

Soon a low growl made Lucas puff up his fur as a huge white and black wolf came.  
Some of the girls tried to calm the wolf down, but he charged at Lucas.  
Lucas took off down the halls, maids and servants jumping out of the way.  
Outside Ryan and Tomas were getting ready to leave as they packed up.  
A loud meow caught their attention as a black cat was coming their way.

The wolf was getting closer with his teeth bared and Tomas grabbed a small bag.  
He removed some pieces of chicken and tossed it onto the ground near the river.  
The wolf chased after the small pieces of chicken and devoured them greedily.  
Tomas threw some more and the wolf walked back to the castle after eating.  
Lucas jumped into Ryan arms as they made their way back to their homes.


End file.
